There are two major steps that must be taken for someone who is shy to come out of his shell, so to speak.  This steps are:

1. Learning to become less inhibited and
2. Dealing with rejection.

Basically, winning the battle over inhibition involves having a good imagination and some acting skills.  This is because many have found success in overcoming their inhibitions by pretending they were acting the role of someone else.  If you are trying to become less inhibited; try this:

• Observe someone you see as an outgoing person
• When you are alone, pretend you are acting in a play, playing the part of this person
• Use his or her mannerisms when you speak and generally, do what he or she does
• The next time you are in a social situation, just be yourself, but picture yourself playing the role of the outgoing person
• This will help you gain confidence and as confidence grows, inhibitions will disappear.

Of course, when a person acts out his whole life other problems could be developed.  So, remember to save the mimicking of someone for those instances when you are pressed into it.  This would be as in the situation where a shy person calls on a client to make a sale, for instance.  Another example would be a shy fellow approaching a young lady to ask her for a date.  Mimicking can help people in these situations very much.

A great deal of shyness stems from the fear of rejection.  This is the other important part to the equation of overcoming shyness.  Someone who is shy often has become so because the pain rejection brings him or her is enough to stop him or her from ever trying to make any gains in social life.  Therefor, it is most important the shy person understand 3 facts:

1. Every one gets rejected.  Experts in the field of sales teach you will be turned down at least 10 times before you will make a sale.
2. A rejection, or failure brings you one step further toward success.  There is no success without failure.  So, let the saying, “You never know until you ask” be your motto. And,
3. Very often people reject you because they themselves are shy.  Often they use contrived rudeness to hide their insecurity.  Remember, the girl or guy who just turned you down may have done so because he/she is even more shy than you are and may regret rejecting you later on!

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Overcoming Shyness

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Being socially anxious is a condition where the sufferer of this type of anxiety actually feels physical discomforts when he/she is` around other people in any kind of social setting.  This discomfort can range from just not rather wanting to be there to becoming physically sick when entering a crowded room.

In some socially anxious people the mere thought of going to any kind of a social event will make a him or her ill.  It is this propensity toward physical sickness that is the difference between social anxiety and shyness.

Usually, it is not a worry when physical symptoms are absent from the equation of one being upset by being around other people.  However, when becoming ill is not an issue there still is a chance a socially anxious person could develop into a recluse if the condition isn’t arrested before it progresses this far.  If a person does not become sick from being socially engaged he should force himself to attend social gatherings periodically at regular intervals.  Sometimes this will catapult the shy person into becoming comfortable with others.

photo credit: Rafael Rudolf

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However, with one who is an introvert, fear is not an issue.  An introvert simply works better, functions better and is genuinely happier when alone.   Company tends to sap his/her energy and at certain times will make him/her miserable.  For this reason an intorverted person will avoid social situations by choice but not out of fear.  Introverts are often described as loners.

Of course, feeling uncomfortable with, or having ones creativity stifled by others is a neurosis, but it is not a phobia.  Still, there are introverts in all walks of life.  Many of them are very happy and certainly, well adjusted in many ways.

Many introverts will attend parties or family gatherings, but while they are engaged in such activities, their tendency is not to be seen as the bright people they are.  In other words, they may act like or seem to be dullards when at social gatherings and few if any of the others attending these gatherings will ever realize they are, in fact quite the opposite of a  dullard.

Because public schools involve a myriad of social activities and do in fact, place students into groups, some very intelligent introverts are very poor students.  Sometimes, they even are mistakenly put into special classes.

These types of people will never hit their stride until they are out of school and out on their own.  Because the benefits they derive from school are limited, they tend to be avid readers and are always pursuing knowledge. 

In the long run, not being distracted by the need to look good to others actually give introverts an advantage over others when it comes to making discoveries or being successful in certain fields, such as writing. 

photo credit: Ed Yourdonshyness

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At one time or another, most of us have gone through a period when we felt we could not measure up to other people and that everyone else was always watching us and rating our every move.  This is very common in adlescence.  However, when this thought process is carried on for many years it becomes a phobia.  There are times this phobia has become defeated simply by developing an “in your face” attitude.  Of course, this attitude can be a phobia in itself.

Still, it is a great help to the socially anxious person when he/she finds out some self consciousness is normal and that all people have shortcommings.

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Here is a post from the blog Stop Anxiety Stop Panic. Come visit and learn how to deal with and defeat anxiety and panic disorder.

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If however, a person refuses to make contact with anybody because he or she either feels unworthy of being accepted, or he or she feels hatred for everybody, there is a problem.  Both of these conditions are social anxieties that need to be dealt with.

The first condition is an inferiority complex, the latter is hatred which, in itself can be either a neurosis or even a psychosis.
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Ordinary shyness is not, in itself a problem.

Here is a post from the blog Stop Anxiety Stop Panic. Come visit and learn how to deal with and defeat anxiety and panic disorder.

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For instance, people with agoraphobia are afraid to leave their home or go out into public places.  These people are often and literally shown how to leave their home and go shopping one step at a time.

Likewise, shy people sometimes need to be led into social situations little by little and shown how to interact with others.  Once a certain level of confidence is reached by the person battling with shyness, they are left alone for very short periods of time and longer and longer periods of time as they continue to gain confidence.

This approach can work with agoraphobia, overcoming shyness and in trying to stop panic attacks.  However, this method does require dogged determination.

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Though a certain amount of shyness is normal and maybe even charming, it can be developed into a neurotic condition.

Here is a post from the blog Stop Anxiety Stop Panic. Come visit and learn how to deal with and defeat anxiety and panic disorder.

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Well not thought of as a serious neuroses, some people can be inflicted with shy bladder to the extend they have trouble urinating when they hear noises outside their own bathroom or even imagine somebody is outside the door.

If the individual case of paruresis is severe enough, treatment centered around relaxation and visualization are administered.

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Here is a post from the blog Stop Anxiety Stop Panic. Come visit and learn how to deal with and defeat anxiety and panic disorder.

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Social anxiety help is not an exact science because there are different ways in which social anxiety manifests itself. For instance, there are some people who build fences around themselves by becoming so inhospitable no one would
dare interact when them.

There are others who fight their way through social gatherings while working themselves into anxious conditions perhaps even experiencing panic attacks. The first type of person needs to deal with a reclusive condition while the second will need help dealing with anxiety panic disorder.

Naturally, each type of person would require different types of treatment. However, the core of the treatment is the same. The patient has to learn to relax in situations he/she is not comfortable with and even more importantly, he/she must want to overcome the social anxiety. It is impossible to force help upon this type of patient.

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Here is a post from the blog Stop Anxiety Stop Panic. Come visit and learn how to deal with and defeat anxiety and panic disorder.

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Lack of self confidence can mean there are greater underlying psychological deficiencies a person is experiencing , especially if this lack of confidence is constant.

Most people go through trying periods in life.  During these times, self confidence levels can be low.  A certain amount of this is, of course, normal.  However when constant, this problem can indicate deeper psychological problems that are being covered up and need to be exposed through psychotherapy, hypnosis or other professionally administered means.

Religion can play a vital role in helping overcome lack of self confidence.  In its extreme form, lack of self confidence can be seen as inferiority complex.

Photo:  Self-confidence shinning through…

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Here is a post from the blog Stop Anxiety Stop Panic. Come visit and learn how to deal with and defeat anxiety and panic disorder.

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The anxious part of social anxiety is the want the sufferer has to run away from all social situations.  This can bring about a great deal of anxiety and even panic when a socially anxious person even thinks about being with others!

Hermits are almost always people who suffer from social anxiety.
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Here is a post from the blog Stop Anxiety Stop Panic. Come visit and learn how to deal with and defeat anxiety and panic disorder.

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