There are two major steps that must be taken for someone who is shy to come out of his shell, so to speak.  This steps are:

1. Learning to become less inhibited and
2. Dealing with rejection.

Basically, winning the battle over inhibition involves having a good imagination and some acting skills.  This is because many have found success in overcoming their inhibitions by pretending they were acting the role of someone else.  If you are trying to become less inhibited; try this:

• Observe someone you see as an outgoing person
• When you are alone, pretend you are acting in a play, playing the part of this person
• Use his or her mannerisms when you speak and generally, do what he or she does
• The next time you are in a social situation, just be yourself, but picture yourself playing the role of the outgoing person
• This will help you gain confidence and as confidence grows, inhibitions will disappear.

Of course, when a person acts out his whole life other problems could be developed.  So, remember to save the mimicking of someone for those instances when you are pressed into it.  This would be as in the situation where a shy person calls on a client to make a sale, for instance.  Another example would be a shy fellow approaching a young lady to ask her for a date.  Mimicking can help people in these situations very much.

A great deal of shyness stems from the fear of rejection.  This is the other important part to the equation of overcoming shyness.  Someone who is shy often has become so because the pain rejection brings him or her is enough to stop him or her from ever trying to make any gains in social life.  Therefor, it is most important the shy person understand 3 facts:

1. Every one gets rejected.  Experts in the field of sales teach you will be turned down at least 10 times before you will make a sale.
2. A rejection, or failure brings you one step further toward success.  There is no success without failure.  So, let the saying, “You never know until you ask” be your motto. And,
3. Very often people reject you because they themselves are shy.  Often they use contrived rudeness to hide their insecurity.  Remember, the girl or guy who just turned you down may have done so because he/she is even more shy than you are and may regret rejecting you later on!

Here is a post from the blog Stop Anxiety Stop Panic. Come visit and learn how to deal with and defeat anxiety and panic disorder.

Overcoming Shyness

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However, with one who is an introvert, fear is not an issue.  An introvert simply works better, functions better and is genuinely happier when alone.   Company tends to sap his/her energy and at certain times will make him/her miserable.  For this reason an intorverted person will avoid social situations by choice but not out of fear.  Introverts are often described as loners.

Of course, feeling uncomfortable with, or having ones creativity stifled by others is a neurosis, but it is not a phobia.  Still, there are introverts in all walks of life.  Many of them are very happy and certainly, well adjusted in many ways.

Many introverts will attend parties or family gatherings, but while they are engaged in such activities, their tendency is not to be seen as the bright people they are.  In other words, they may act like or seem to be dullards when at social gatherings and few if any of the others attending these gatherings will ever realize they are, in fact quite the opposite of a  dullard.

Because public schools involve a myriad of social activities and do in fact, place students into groups, some very intelligent introverts are very poor students.  Sometimes, they even are mistakenly put into special classes.

These types of people will never hit their stride until they are out of school and out on their own.  Because the benefits they derive from school are limited, they tend to be avid readers and are always pursuing knowledge. 

In the long run, not being distracted by the need to look good to others actually give introverts an advantage over others when it comes to making discoveries or being successful in certain fields, such as writing. 

photo credit: Ed Yourdonshyness

Here is a post from the blog Stop Anxiety Stop Panic. Come visit and learn how to deal with and defeat anxiety and panic disorder.

Introvert

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If however, a person refuses to make contact with anybody because he or she either feels unworthy of being accepted, or he or she feels hatred for everybody, there is a problem.  Both of these conditions are social anxieties that need to be dealt with.

The first condition is an inferiority complex, the latter is hatred which, in itself can be either a neurosis or even a psychosis.
photo credit: le

Ordinary shyness is not, in itself a problem.

Here is a post from the blog Stop Anxiety Stop Panic. Come visit and learn how to deal with and defeat anxiety and panic disorder.

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